Well, as I just mentioned in a recent blog post, I just got a new car. Thus far it has not given me any trouble... well, not directly. It runs like a dream. No, the trouble is coming from the great state of New York. Yeah, I'm pretty much writing this post to vent.
As much as registration day at the DMV stressed me out, it was nothing compared with today. Today was inspection day. Just to save you the suspense, my baby failed inspection miserably. I wasn't in the garage at the time, but when they took a look underneath, they saw the rust on the drivers side and decided it was too extensive to pass NY standards. They made sure they told me this in not so subtle terms. I believe the word "junk" was used. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure the only reason they looked underneath was because the emergency break was acting up a bit.
Anyways... after having another guy look at it, he said there was still a chance it could pass a more lenient inspector once I fix the break and the blinker. I pray that this happens! Would you all please? I have much more important things to think about.
All this to say, this is my first time dealing with all the wonderful subtleties (if you can call them that) of owning a car in NY, and I can't say I'm taking to it too well. Maybe it's because I'm working less than full time in order to go to seminary. Maybe the early wake up time is starting to wear on me... whatever it is, today was worrisome to say the least.
I guess there is a point to me writing all this to you readers... the both of you. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that God is working on me in all this. Just when I thought I was really starting to trust the Lord at a whole new level (seeing as he provided an affordable car!) he has refused to let me grow comfortable... Or is it that I'm refusing to let myself grow comfortable in trusting him in all this? I don't know, but it's no fun either way!
I literally came home and was unable to relax. I couldn't sit and admit that there was nothing to be done for the day. Did the guy who sold the car know about this? The inspectors seemed to think so. Maybe I'll call and text some friends to see if they can relate... wait no... of course they can, it won't help though! I want this fixed! C'mon God! I thought this was settled! I don't have the money for this.
Sigh... yes God... I know, you're working this for my good... no, I haven't really trusted you... I trusted in a car for the past few days! A used car at that! Like that could compare with you.
But I need my independence! All my friends have it! What am I gonna do when inspection is mandatory in December? What if no one passes it! Should I give up on this thing now!? It works so well!
Ok... I'll do my best to trust you... Can you do the rest God? The world isn't ending... I have all I need for today... I have all I need for the next few months if I were just humble enough to see it. Would you give me grace to be joyful in the midst of it all?
When will I admit that independence is all relative? When will I stop comparing myself? We're all completely dependent in light of your sovereignty. You know what you want me to have and when I should have it... and you've taken nothing away from me yet. Give me patience... give me humility... give me joy in spite of it all.