Me: You know what I want God, I ask again that you give it to me. Please don't continue to slay me.
Him: I want you to love me completely.
Her: Eric, I want you to love me completely.
Him: You see?
Me: I see...
Me: I repent... but there remain remnants of pain... They flair up with one glimpse... Help me God, remove every chain. Untie every bond.
Him: I am faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
Me: ...Questions remain... Is there room for what I desire? is division of heart the only path?
Him: There is only one escape. That which you dedicate your life to that is beneath me must also be a servant to me. That which I give you must bring you to look to me. Your joy in it must expand your joy in me. If it does not, I will destroy it down to the very root. Those parts of you that remain tied to it will be scarred as by fire. You will limp... and you will know that I am God. This is how I have slain you thus far, and this is how I will continue to slay you.
Me: I'm afraid father... I feel remnants of these chains pull every day. There are bonds yet to be cut.
Him: I who began a good work in you will complete it unto the day of Christ. Those whom I love, I discipline.
Me: Help me father. Let your Holy Spirit preserve my sanity. I pray that my request would one day be granted... nevertheless, let my joy in you enslave all other joys. Let all the gifts you give me last because they are subject to your eternal kingdom.